Are you your story?

We struggle to come to terms with what happened to us as children and/or adults in some cases both. To recall faint memories and create our personal history that was blurred.

At some point we discover what happened and we then wonder who we are because the person we created came from a place of needing to be hidden and safe. Then we wonder if that person was created for safety who are we really? how do we let go of the person who in part is us but mostly is what we think other people expect to see or what we found on TV to mold ourselves from, a piece her and piece there until we make a whole person even if hollow inside.

Do we fear removing the pain and thus having no reason to be the person we created?

Do we fear who we might really be and will we even like that person?

Do we substitute the victim person for the recovering person?

Are we addicted to our story instead or working on your future?

How can we let go of we identify ourselves as survivors of child or adult sexual abuse. Yes we survived the fact we are here proves it! Now is time to time to identify ourselves in a different way, but how and in what way?

Stop The Bleeding

“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them. Iyanla Vanzant

Boys and Men Healing from Male Child Sexual Abuse documentary

 Big Voice Pictures

10 Min Excerpts: Boys and Men Healing from Male Child Sexual Abuse documentary

http://blip.tv/big-voice-pictures/10-min-excerpts-boys-and-men-healing-from-male-child-sexual-abuse-documentary-3915783

Damaged Goods Not

I know the feeling cuz its part of how we think, but please - Enough with the DAMAGED GOODS analogies already.
Please do not take this personally but we are NOT damaged. Injured, wounded , bereft of tools and coping skills yup we are all those. But damaged implies factory seconds, beyond repair, reduced to clear or final sale. I have yet to meet any survivor who is any of those things.

Wounds heal with a scar often stronger than the tissues they replace. Bone heals with a callus that makes it less likely to break again. Lacking skills or tools means a new opportunity to gain insite and understanding, maybe at at time in our lives that bring more meaning and gratitude than could have ever been possible.

I know we tend to sometimes think of ourselves as less than, but:DAMAGED GOODS - Not a fucking chance!

By 1lifenow
http://www.malesurvivor.org/

Self-compassion - A Healthier Way of Relating to Yourself

Self-compassion - A Healthier Way of Relating to Yourself:
This website provides information about self-compassion, and is intended for students, researchers, and the general public. Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor in Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas at Austin.

What are Body Memories? And How to Heal Them…

Your body, believe it or not, remembers everything. Sounds, smells, touches, tastes. But the memory is not held in your mind, locked somewhere in the recesses of your brain. Instead, it’s held in your body, all the way down at the cellular level. Ever notice how, on a stage full of professional dancers, everyone still moves in their own way? That’s because our cells store memories – information – about our experiences, habits, sensations, everything. We are all unique and it’s in our bodies – our skin, muscles, tendons, nerves – which we actively participate through our day to day experiences; good ones and bad.
What are Body Memories? And How to Heal Them…

 

Francine Shapiro, Ph.D.

The Evidence on E.M.D.R.

By THE NEW YORK TIMES

This week, readers of the Consults blog posed questions about eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, or E.M.D.R., a psychological therapy pioneered by Francine Shapiro that uses eye movements and other procedures to process traumatic memories. The therapy has been used increasingly to treat post-traumatic stress disorder and other traumas. You can learn more about how E.M.D.R. therapy is done here. Below, Dr. Shapiro addresses reader questions about the current state of research on E.M.D.R. therapy.


http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/02/the-evidence-on-e-m-d-r/