Friday, September 14, 2012

Pennsylvania to execute CSA Survivor Williams on October 3, 2012

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is preparing to execute Terrance “Terry” Williams on October 3, 2012, in spite of staunch opposition to his execution from the victim’s widow, five jurors from trial, child advocates, former prosecutors and judges, faith leaders, mental health professionals, law professors and others.



Join in asking Governor Corbett, the Board of Pardons, and District Attorney Williams to spare Terrance Williams’ life. Sign the petition at Change

I urgently appeal to Governor Tom Corbett, the Pennsylvania Board of Pardons, and District Attorney Seth Williams to spare Terrance Williams’ life and allow him to be sentenced to life without parole.

Throughout his childhood, Terry suffered prolonged violent physical and sexual abuse from older males. Born into poverty with a violently abusive mother and absent father, Terry faced abuse and neglect in his home that made him vulnerable to sexual predators. He was first raped by an older boy when he was only six years old, and he continued to suffer sexual abuse for the next twelve years.  Like too many other victims of child sexual abuse, Terry received no counseling or support to help him deal with the repeated traumas he endured; in fact, some of the people who were supposed to help Terry preyed on him.

As a teenager, Terry became acquainted with two middle-aged men who used their influence as a church leader and as a sports booster to get access to young boys. These men sexually abused and brutally exploited Terry. After years of suffering unimaginable horrors, when he was 17- and 18-years old, Terry killed these two men – and now faces death.

Terry’s tragic history of abuse was never presented at trial. Because of this, several jurors who sentenced him to death now support commuting his sentence to life without parole. At the time of trial, Terry was traumatized and ashamed of the violence he suffered, and his lawyer did not investigate obvious signs of abuse. The jury thus did not hear any evidence about the relentless abuse Terry faced, nor did they know that the two men he killed were in fact his abusers.

Jurors have stated that that if they had known all the facts about Terry's background and his abuse by the men he killed, they would not have voted for death.

The widow of the man whose killing resulted in Terry’s death sentence has forgiven Terry and does not want him to be executed.  She has found peace and closure and does not wish to see any more loss of life. The victim’s widow has expressed herhope that Governor Corbett, the Board of Pardons, and District Attorney Williams will show Terry mercy.

In addition to the victim’s widow and jurors, there has been an unprecedented outpouring of support from prominent groups and individuals across Pennsylvania. Child advocates, former prosecutors and judges, faith leaders, mental health professionals, law professors and others have publicly supported commuting Terry’s sentence to life without parole.

Terry is deeply remorseful for his actions and prays that the families of the men he killed can find peace.
You can read more about Terry's case, including the numerous letters in support of clemency, here: www.TerryWilliamsClemency.com

Join in asking Governor Corbett, the Board of Pardons, and District Attorney Williams to spare Terrance Williams’ life. Sign the petition at Change

Friday, September 7, 2012

Building Up Your Self-Esteem

Building Up Your Self-Esteem - Use these stepping stones

  • Stand and walk with good posture.
  • Take a strong commitment and a conscious effort to succeed in building your own self esteem.
  • The next time you make a mistake, be forgiving of yourself.
  • Redefine "selfish". Learn to love yourself and to take care of your needs effectively. You can get your needs met and still have love in your life.
  • Take responsibility for your life and your well-being and STOP taking responsibility for other people's lives. It's great to help people, but they are still responsible for their own situations and actions.
  • Spend more time with people who encourage you, and less time with people who discourage you.
  • Eat nourishing meals and exercise, and remind yourself that you are worth it.
  • As you make new choices, set out a plan and get a support partner.
  • Treat yourself with a warm bath, a massage or a good book. Treat yourself with deliberate acts of kindess

The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem

  1. Thou shalt not consort with people who make thee feel bad about thyself.
  2. Thou shalt cease trying to make sense of crazy behaviour.
  3. Thou shalt not keep company with those more dysfunctional than thyself.
  4. Trust thy body all the days of thy life [ Thy mind doth fornicate with thee ].
  5. Thou hast permission at all times to say "NO", to change thy mind, and to express thy true feelings.
  6. What is not right for thee is not right for thy brethern.
  7. Thou shalt not give beyond thine own capacity.
  8. What thy brethern think of thee mattereth naught.
  9. Wherever thou art, therein also is the party.
  10. Thou shalt sing thine own praises all the days of thy life.
[ The Ten Commandments of Self-Esteem  © by Catherine Cardinal.  Thank you for making this information available ]

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The child I was died

Posted with permission....I have been getting glimpses and the feelings that go with them of what went on inside when I was first abused. How the innocent joyful child died that moment, I can feel that deep pain I felt then the loneliness that came on me at that moment and the helplessness and fear.

It am being witness to the death of the child I was and it is not easy to take. Even at that young an age I wondered why what did I do wrong to be hurt like this why did God hate me and want me in hell. My parents will never love a dirty boy and all the boys will know I am dirty no good a bad boy. No one will ever want to be my friend again.

All that as it happened and I was trying to leave my body to avoid the horrible pain in my body and soul. That child died a horrible death and will never be back he has been dead to long. My life was stolen my joy buried my hopes crushed in one instant in one day I was never the same again. I can't save him I can only try and save me from the slow death that started so long ago.

If anyone ever wonders why it is hard to get over try and imagine how you would get over the death or your young innocent child how you could ever get over it. by adult male 50yrs old
Posted by permission...
I have been getting glimpses and the feelings that go with them of what went on inside when I was first abused. How the innocent joyful child died that moment, I can feel that deep pain I felt then the loneliness that came on me at that moment and the helplessness and fear. It am being witness to the death of the child I was and it is not easy to take. Even at that young an age I wondered why what did I do wrong to be hurt like this why did God hate me and want me in hell. My parents will never love a dirty boy and all the boys will know I am dirty no good a bad boy. No one will ever want to be my friend again. All that as it happened and I was trying to leave my body to avoid the horrible pain in my body and soul. That child died a horrible death and will never be back he has been dead to long. My life was stolen my joy buried my hopes crushed in one instant in one day I was never the same again. I can't save him I can only try and save me from the slow death that started so long ago. If anyone ever wonders why it is hard to get over try and imagine how you would get over the death or your young innocent child how you could ever get over it.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Meditation for sexual abuse survivors

Sexual abuse is a traumatic event that happens to children of both sexes. It is virtually impossible to have the exact number of children who have been sexually abused due to the silence from both the victim and abuser. Without making the abuse known and receiving the proper help, a sexually abused child will grow into an adult survivor of child abuse. A child or adult survivor of sexual abuse can begin the healing process by focusing or meditating on the truth of the situation not the misperceptions that the abuser plied onto the victim.
A sexual abuse victim is lead to believe many lies that the abuser tells them in order to control the victim and keep the abuse a secret. Often a victim is told they will bring harm to themselves or their loved ones if they break the silence. A victim may be told that they are loved by the abuser more than anyone else, therefore making the self-esteem of the victim dependent on the abuse continuing. A victim may be told they are worthless and deserve to be treated in such a manner and no one will love them if they break the silence. Now a victim is not only being sexually abused, but emotionally abused and forced to become a product of the words and actions of the abuser.
Focusing on positive and realistic statements will begin the process for you to begin the healing you are needing. There are eight truths that every victim needs to acknowledge before healing can begin.

1. I have been abused.

2. I am a victim of a crime against my body and soul.

3. As a victim, I am not in any way responsible for the crime, no matter what I might have experienced or gained as a result of the abuse.

4. Abuse has also damaged my soul.

5. The damage is due to the interweaving dynamics of powerlessness, betrayal, and ambivalence.

6. My damage is different from other's in extent, intensity, and consequences, but it is worthy to be addressed and worked through no matter what occurred.

7. It will take time to deal with the internal wounds; the process must not be hurried.

8. I must not keep a veil of secrecy and shame over my past, but I am not required to share my past with anyone I feel is untrustworthy or insensitive.

The next step is to write your story. Write a story about your life so far. Use as many details of your life as you feel comfortable. If something bad happened to you then use as many of the details as you feel comfortable with. This will be a great way to see where you have been, where you are now and where you will be. Continue here....