Healthy and Unhealthy Sexuality

Healthy Sexuality
Feels good; is celebrative; adds to self-esteem
Is healing; has no victims; loves, lifts, trusts, cares for and protects the other person
Deepens meaning and spirituality; adds to the feeling of closeness to God
Share vulnerability and regard provide excitement and satisfaction
Cultivates a sense of being an adult
Adds to one’s sense of self
Enhances the sense of safety and security
Uses love; honors the partner; shares control in a meaningful way; an “I-Thou” relationship
Pain is surrounded and infused with love and intimacy
Is responsible to both parties; enhances integrity
Is stimulating, challenging, playful and fun; becomes interesting as feelings are honestly shared
Integrates the most authentic parts of the self
Accepts the imperfect
Exists within a loving, respectful relationship
Creates comfortable intimacy
Is more concerned with feeling comfortable and the partner’s goodness, kindness and joy
Focuses primarily on building the relationship


Unhealthy Sexuality
Feels secretive and shameful
Is illicit, stolen, exploitive, abusive, and/or demeaning; the victim is used, then abandoned or dominated
Compromises values and spirituality
Fear provides excitement
Reenacts childhood abuses
Disconnects one from oneself
Is self-destructive and dangerous
Uses conquest, control, and power; an “I-It relationship
Pain is covered, medicated, escaped, or killed in a sterile way
Is dishonest
Becomes routine, grim, joyless
Requires a double life
Demands perfection
Is separate from intimacy and a loving relationship; sex is confused with caring
Creates distance or enmeshment/engulfment
Overemphasizes superficiality (looks, etc.)
Overemphasizes fears from the past

Breaking The Silence Fresno California

This year's event will once again feature Dakota Draconi, activist, parent, abuse survivor, and dynamic public speaker. Her topic will be Child Abuse in America. Dakota is a powerful speaker, who addresses over 2500 people per year in her fight to end the epidemic of child abuse in this country.

If you've heard Dakota speak in the past, this is the perfect opportunity to hear her again, and to bring your friends and family.

Even if you are not interested in participating in this event, we hope that you will let others know about the opportunity to hear this moving speech. In addition to Dakota's talk, we will provide an opportunity for survivors to speak about their experiences, and hold a Survivors Medallion ceremony to honor those who have broken their silence. If you or your organization are interested in helping to spread the word about this event, please let us know and we will provide promotional materials.

THIS EVENT IS FREE & FREE CHILD CARE WILL BE PROVIDED.

Please share this event with others!

To download the .pdf flyer please visit
http://bts.dragonpack.com/event-2012/event2012flyer.pdf

After Silence Web Resources

Welcome to After Silence, an online support group, message board, and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors. You are not alone, you are not broken, and you can heal.

         After Silence is designed to help victims become survivors, and communicate in the recovery of sexual violence. Our mission is to support, empower, validate, and educate survivors, as well as their families and supporters. The core of our organization is a support group, message board, and chat room where victims and survivors come together online in a mutually supportive and safe environment.

http://www.aftersilence.org/index.php

www.uppitysciencechick.com/Festschrift.pdf

The Health Effects of Childhood Abuse:

Four Pathways by which Abuse Can Influence Health

www.uppitysciencechick.com/Festschrift.pdf

The Associated Press: Scouts to turn over files in Calif. sex abuse case

A judge overseeing a lawsuit brought by the family of a California boy molested by his troop leader in 2007 has ordered the Boy Scouts of America to hand over confidential files detailing allegations of sexual abuse by Scout leaders around the nation.

The Associated Press: Scouts to turn over files in Calif. sex abuse case

Revive Your New Year's Resolutions | Parade.com

If you’re like millions of Americans, you woke up on Jan. 1 and vowed to turn over a new leaf—run three miles a day, stop smoking, lose a pound a week, save $200 a month, whatever. You vividly imagined a better you. And for a while it seemed to work. But then, come late January or early February, you stopped jogging. You snuck a cigarette. You went on a QVC spending spree. In other words, you slipped back into your old habits. Revive Your New Year's Resolutions | Parade.com

FEAR

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real

BOYHOOD SHADOWS

BOYHOOD SHADOWS journeys with Glenn, revealing a story that began as a young boy under the power of a sexual predator. The story chronicles Glenn’s struggle as he tries to make sense of his life as a youngster, keeping his secret and shame inside, promising to tell no one. Quelling his pain as a teen through alcohol and drugs, he held tight to his secret. Glenn’s story is detailed by wrenching testimonials of his brothers and sister, his mother and father – who each recognized something was wrong with this once-golden-boy – but at a loss to understand the cause of his devastation.

“There is no shame in being a victim!”

EDMR

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of psychotherapy that was developed by Francine Shapiro^[1][2] to resolve the development of trauma-related disorders caused by exposure to distressing events such as rape or military combat. According to Shapiro's theory,^[1] when a traumatic or distressing experience occurs, it may overwhelm usual cognitive and neurological coping mechanisms. The memory and associated stimuli of the event are inadequately processed, and are dysfunctionally stored in an isolatedmemory network. The goal of EMDR therapy is to process these distressing memories, reducing their lingering influence and allowing clients to develop more adaptive coping mechanisms.

Although some clinicians may use EMDR for other problems, its research support is primarily for disorders stemming from distressing life experiences,^[3] such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).^[4][5] However, EMDR remains somewhat controversial due to questions about its methods and theoretical foundations.^{[6][7][8][9][10]}

EMDR integrates elements of effective psychodynamic, imaginal exposure, cognitive therapy, interpersonal, experiential, physiological andsomatic therapies. Distinguishing EMDR from other therapies, however, is the unique element of bilateral stimulation (e.g. eye movements, tones, or tapping) during each session.

EMDR uses a structured eight-phase approach (outlined in greater detail below) to address the past, present, and future aspects of a traumatic or distressing memory that has been dysfunctionally stored. During the processing phases of EMDR, the client focuses on disturbing memory in multiple brief sets of about 15–30 seconds. Simultaneously, the client focuses on the dual attention stimulus (e.g., therapist-directed lateral eye movement, alternate hand-tapping, or bilateral auditory tones). Following each set of such dual attention, the client is asked what associative information was elicited during the procedure. This new material usually becomes the focus of the next set. This process of alternating dual attention and personal association is repeated many times during the session.

When traumatic memory networks are activated, the client may re-experience aspects of the original event, often resulting in inappropriate overreactions. This explains why people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic incident may have recurring sensory flashbacks, thoughts, beliefs, or dreams. An unprocessed memory of a traumatic event can retain high levels of sensory and emotional intensity, even though many years may have passed. The theory is that EMDR works directly with memory networks and enhances information processing by forging associations between the distressing memory and more adaptive information contained in other semantic memory networks. It is thought that the distressing memory is transformed when new connections are forged with more positive and realistic information. This results in a transformation of the emotional, sensory, and cognitive components of the memory; when the memory is accessed, the individual is no longer distressed. Instead he/she recalls the incident with a new perspective, new insight, resolution of the cognitive distortions, elimination of emotional distress, and relief of related physiological arousal.

When the distressing or traumatic event is an isolated, single incident (e.g., a traffic accident), approximately three sessions are necessary for comprehensive treatment. When multiple traumatic events contribute to a health problem—such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse,parental neglect, severe illness, accident, injury, or health-related trauma that result in chronic impairment to health and well-being, or combat trauma, the time to heal may be longer,^[11] and complex, multiple trauma may require many more sessions for the treatment to be complete and robust.

Although EMDR is established as an evidence-based treatment for PTSD^{[4][12][5][13][14]} there are two main perspectives on EMDR therapy. First, Shapiro^[1] proposed that although a number of different processes underlie EMDR, the eye movements add to the therapy's effectiveness by evoking neurological and physiological changes that may aid in the processing of the trauma memories being treated. The other perspective is that the eye movements are an unnecessary epiphenomenon, and that EMDR is simply a form of desensitization.^[6]

[edit]Therapy process

The therapy process and procedures are according to Shapiro (2001)^[1]

Phase I

In the first sessions, the patient's history and an overall treatment plan are discussed. During this process the therapist identifies and clarifies potential targets for EMDR. Target refers to a disturbing issue, event, feeling, or memory for use as an initial focus for EMDR.Maladaptive beliefs are also identified (e.g., "I can't trust people" or "I can't protect myself.")

Phase II

Before beginning EMDR for the first time, it is recommended that the client identify a "safe place" -- an image or memory that elicits comfortable feelings and a positive sense of self. This safe place can be used later to bring closure to an incomplete session or to help a client tolerate a particularly upsetting session.

Phase III

In developing a target for EMDR, prior to beginning the eye movement, a snapshot image is identified that represents the target and the disturbance associated with it. Using that image is a way to help the client focus on the target, a negative cognition (NC) is identified – a negative statement about the self that feels especially true when the client focuses on the target image. A positive cognition (PC) is also identified – a positive self-statement that is preferable to the negative cognition.

Phase IV

The therapist asks the patient to focus simultaneously on the image, the negative cognition, and the disturbing emotion or body sensation. Then the therapist usually asks the client to follow a moving object with his or her eyes; the object moves alternately from side to side so that the client's eyes also move back and forth. After a set of eye movements, the client is asked to report briefly on what has come up; this may be a thought, a feeling, a physical sensation, an image, a memory, or a change in any one of the above. In the initial instructions to the client, the therapist asks him or her to focus on this thought, and begins a new set of eye movements. Under certain conditions, however, the therapist directs the client to focus on the original target memory or on some other image, thought, feeling, fantasy, physical sensation, or memory. From time to time the therapist may query the client about his or her current level of distress. The desensitization phase ends when the SUDS (Subjective Units of Disturbance Scale) has reached 0 or 1.

Phase V

The "Installation Phase": the therapist asks the client about the positive cognition, if it's still valid. After Phase IV, the view of the client on the event/ the initial snapshot image may have changed dramatically. Another PC may be needed. Then the client is asked to "hold together" the snapshot and the (new) PC. Also the therapist asks, "How valid does the PC feel, on a scale from 1 to 7?" New sets of eye movement are issued.

Phase VI

The body scan: the therapist asks if anywhere in the client's body any pain, stress or discomfort is felt. If so, the client is asked to concentrate on the sore knee or whatever may arise and new sets are issued.

Phase VII

Debriefing: the therapist gives appropriate info and support.

Phase VIII

Re-evaluation: At the beginning of the next session, the client reviews the week, discussing any new sensations or experiences. The level of disturbance arising from the experiences targeted in the previous session is assessed. An objective of this phase is to ensure the processing of all relevant historical events.

EMDR also uses a three-pronged approach, to address past, present and future aspects of the targeted memory.

resource: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing